Being a man, I've never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and
women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire
gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her
we'll just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a
pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.

Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck!

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either ...

http://www.primepuzzle.com/leesnewest/one-wave-short.html